10/5/14 11:53 pm - Inano Veritas
Just trying to get this all out of my system. The same grinding noise my thoughts make against each other as I encounter another birthday every year.
Appreciation for the people who, sincerely or out of obligation, will say or do nice things tomorrow.
Frustration at the ways my mind and body fall apart as they age gracelessly, as I neglect them.
Guilt, at the wonderful things that life has brought me -- doubly, trebly, infinitely so in the last two years, even with all it's taken away -- while I go through what everyone goes through, and get off much lighter than the billions who don't get this.
The billions who can't count on the security of a home that they own and a roof through which they can't see the terrifying night, the security that they won't be killed in their sleep, that water won't sicken them, that food will be there tomorrow, that they're connected to the other privileged few with electricity and information technology and what still passes for culture.
Appreciation, frustration, guilt. I think that's it.